G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.

Critics were broadly unkind to this one, calling out weak writing, muddled action geography, and performances that never escape the plastic world of the source material. A handful of genre-friendly outlets found enough pulpy momentum and third-act twists to make it a guiltily watchable summer spectacle, but they were the minority — and the cast members themselves have since gone on record agreeing with the harsher verdict.